Datebook: Wednesday, August 3rd

We are staying at the Golden Arrow for several reasons. The most important: the view of Whiteface and the calming effect of the lake. Honorable mention: it is closer to Black Bear, Goldberries, and Soulshine Bagel. And I just can’t do that hill.

Seriously, that hill is brutal. And you can’t let anyone know that it is brutal so you have to hold in you stomach and walk and talk at the same time. It is impossible.

So we stay at the Golden Arrow, 3rd floor so we are on ground level. Also, it has a better view of the lake without having paddleboats in your bedroom.

This year we have a whirlpool bathtub in our room. A nice feature but who takes a bath in hotel room? We all try to pretend no one uses our rooms, but we are all quite aware these are passed around more than a toaster from a bridal shower. Anyway, this was made very clear to me this year when I checked in and found a Viagra pill on the floor by the bed. My bed. Well, I am assuming it was a Viagra because it had a large V engraved on it and it looked like the ones from those all too happy commercials. I flushed it down the toilet but then of course the sex life and probable outcome of the previous night where within touching distance of my brain and it was hard (no pun intended) not to be “kootieed” out.

Another new feature of the Golden Arrow (I’m not counting the readily available Viagra) is that they have wireless internet in the south side of the building. This is wonderful. Except I am staying in the north wing. So, I must take my computer and wander the halls like it is some great divining rod searching for the magical elixir.

We are actually going to have breakfast this morning before the COMPETITION. I am not nervous. I’m pretty sure that my heart rate is around 130 beats a minute and I will try to avoid the smell of bacon and sausage. I may also need to drink my coffee through a straw so the cup doesn’t rattle in the saucer but fortunately odd behaviors are a bit typical for me so my daughter will be none the wiser. She thinks I am a rock… and she must never know that is just what is at the bottom of my stomach.

We must not be nervous.

This is only Lake Placid. It’s not even a qualifying competition.