Datebook: Monday, November 6th ~ 2006

I don’t know about you, but I will certainly be glad when Election Day is over.

Everyday my mailbox is jammed with letters and flyers tucked in between my daily offering of Victoria Secret catalogues. There are candidates running for offices I didn’t even know existed.

And then there are the requests for money so that those seeking office can continue their “pursuit of justice”—that was the quote from one gentleman running for Comptroller—I thought that job only pursued signing checks?

I’m thinking if they didn’t send out 482 cardboard color mailers they might have a few more dollars in the kitty.

All of my telemarketer calls are being interrupted by political party supporters who want me to take a poll, have me listen to a taped message, request that I host a gathering, invite me to attend a 500.00 dollar a plate dinner so I can offer my fair share.

They lose me after “fair share”.

So I tried a new tactic on them.

I explain to my zealous political party callers that my daughter skates.

That I bought a pair of skates for my daughter in June and I just got them. That I paid 1000.00 at the beginning of summer and we finally get them the week before sectionals. This is quite a dilemma for skater and coach.

Should she try to break them in with seven skating days left before sectionals?

Keep in mind her old skates are breaking down and are a bit past shoe polish and turpentine.

Shouldn’t skate shops hold money in escrow when orders take so long?

What would they think seem fair?

I get silence on the other end.

This just goes to prove that the conundrums of skating are even above politicians.

So one more day of negative TV ads, phone calls, and mail-a-grams.

Wouldn’t it be nice if candidates were given PCS, which would stand for Political Content Scores--

Choreography could be based on how they dance around the issues.

Skating Skills could be how many times they came off of “thin ice” during the campaign without suffering a major fall.

MO- This could still be their linking footwork, but specifically how they link their political foundation to the real world.

Performance would be judged on how much makeup was worn during the debates and if there were large perspiration circles under the arms.

Interpretation and Timing would be based on when and how the candidate released the “mud sling”—did it allow time for counter measures? Did the audience applaud the move in the guise of “right to know”.

I think the winner could be announced at the end of the evening—we could throw out the counties or districts with the lowest and highest votes—and have poll results at 8 pm.

So, I’ll be glad with the campaign signs come down and things go back to normal.

You know, like they will be starting November 14th.

Mombo