Datebook: July 6, 2009
I am not a political person. By this, I mean I am a registered voter, and I vote for every election but I am never comfortable with the concept of creating a label for myself as a Democrat or a Republican; I am not 100% for either team. In fact, I am a Repubmocrat and by this I mean I like to have rules for the most part, and help others, but I don't like to just hand out money without checking to see if everyone who gets in line really needs it. I mean, come on, look at the fiasco that has resulted from giving out handicapped hang tags willy-nilly -- the only way to get a parking space at the mall at Christmas time is to rent a Jazzy Chair.
And I know certain parts of the body tighten up whenever someone brings up politics -- so don't worry -- I'm not going to discuss any action, non-action, or reaction of either Bush, either Clinton, or Obama. I am not going to bring up a controversy surrounding a potential cabinet position or a Supreme Court nominee.
I am going to proffer my modest proposal of reverting back to the days that followed the demise of Julius Caesar -- when a triumvirate ruled the Great Empire. Okay, I realize we can't go through all the hassle of changing the Constitution to make this a 3 prong executive branch -- but the Oval office could enlist an additional team of three to add real advice and guidance.
The first contender for a position is Oprah Winfrey. I know, I know. Most of you would say she is certainly an empire builder and could lend a hand in straightening out this economic quagmire we have fallen into. But it goes much deeper than this: she has single handedly brought a nation back to the pages of the written word -- with her book club selections and her magazine. She isn't afraid to acknowledge her power -- she puts herself on every cover of "O" -- and she reminds us to always look for "what we know is true." If added evidence is needed, she is a dog lover and a loyal friend. And the fact that she has trouble keeping weight off doesn't hurt either -- in fact this makes her a "real" person as I'm sure her driver's license doesn't reflect her true weight. This type of dishonesty is human and easily forgiven; she would never sneak off to Thailand and tell her staff that she was actually taking a tour of a potato chip factory for example.
The second member of the trio would be the man that owns Chick-fil-A. I know I could look this up on Google but the point is, his name is not on the tip of the tongue and it doesn't have to be -- look what he has accomplished? He names a franchise that clearly does not sound the way it is spelled but we all just go along with it (long-A / short-A remains the mystery). He has made a fortune selling the best chicken pieces in the world and the secret formula is pickles -- seriously. His Value Meal One is chicken, a bun, and two pickles. His waffle fries have prompted many a late night crave-in. And then this genius of the taste decides he is going to be closed on Sunday so employees can be home with their families (but in reality he is restricting availability that as we all know creates a stronger demand). I'm sure before he can be sworn in he will have to answer some questions about the treatment of the cows in the ads, but I'm sure he has all the bovine liability releases. Plus Mr. Chick brings a note of civility to the table -- he has greeters with umbrellas meet customers in the parking lot on rainy days.
The last member of the triumvirate would be Toby Keith. Before you go all Vince Gill on me, consider the strong points. Toby Keith is a big man -- he used to be an oil driller before his songs started selling. And whether we want to admit it out loud or not, every team needs a "boot in the butt" man. Every person on a team secretly wants to be the "boot in the butt" guy but typically they are the "here's a pen" guy. Toby is like the dog on the chain that everyone worries might snap a link or two if things get rowdy, so he tends to keep things at a simmer instead of a boil. Toby got into a disagreement with mega giant Sony and just packed up his Ford trucks, bandanas, and busted Dixie Chicks CDs and started his own record label. This is the kind of guy that might just take a state or two and start his own country -- which is why the counterbalance triangle is required.
It's the classic formula -- the brains, the civility, and the muscle -- so you have to admit, this would be an awesome triple-threat, teeter-totter for advice, guidance, and "keeping it real."
As this is my modest proposal, I'm sure there will be numerous objections to my selections, but just as Jonathan Swift theorized at one point, the debate will focus on the details and not in the concept. I don't think anyone will argue that we can't use some new think-tanks. They'll just argue about who it should be.
The problem will be that someone will propose their Uncle Moe, an Al Sharpton, or Kevin Bacon and the waters will be muddied.
Well, that's mostly how we got in theses messes in the first place.
-Mombo
And I know certain parts of the body tighten up whenever someone brings up politics -- so don't worry -- I'm not going to discuss any action, non-action, or reaction of either Bush, either Clinton, or Obama. I am not going to bring up a controversy surrounding a potential cabinet position or a Supreme Court nominee.
I am going to proffer my modest proposal of reverting back to the days that followed the demise of Julius Caesar -- when a triumvirate ruled the Great Empire. Okay, I realize we can't go through all the hassle of changing the Constitution to make this a 3 prong executive branch -- but the Oval office could enlist an additional team of three to add real advice and guidance.
The first contender for a position is Oprah Winfrey. I know, I know. Most of you would say she is certainly an empire builder and could lend a hand in straightening out this economic quagmire we have fallen into. But it goes much deeper than this: she has single handedly brought a nation back to the pages of the written word -- with her book club selections and her magazine. She isn't afraid to acknowledge her power -- she puts herself on every cover of "O" -- and she reminds us to always look for "what we know is true." If added evidence is needed, she is a dog lover and a loyal friend. And the fact that she has trouble keeping weight off doesn't hurt either -- in fact this makes her a "real" person as I'm sure her driver's license doesn't reflect her true weight. This type of dishonesty is human and easily forgiven; she would never sneak off to Thailand and tell her staff that she was actually taking a tour of a potato chip factory for example.
The second member of the trio would be the man that owns Chick-fil-A. I know I could look this up on Google but the point is, his name is not on the tip of the tongue and it doesn't have to be -- look what he has accomplished? He names a franchise that clearly does not sound the way it is spelled but we all just go along with it (long-A / short-A remains the mystery). He has made a fortune selling the best chicken pieces in the world and the secret formula is pickles -- seriously. His Value Meal One is chicken, a bun, and two pickles. His waffle fries have prompted many a late night crave-in. And then this genius of the taste decides he is going to be closed on Sunday so employees can be home with their families (but in reality he is restricting availability that as we all know creates a stronger demand). I'm sure before he can be sworn in he will have to answer some questions about the treatment of the cows in the ads, but I'm sure he has all the bovine liability releases. Plus Mr. Chick brings a note of civility to the table -- he has greeters with umbrellas meet customers in the parking lot on rainy days.
The last member of the triumvirate would be Toby Keith. Before you go all Vince Gill on me, consider the strong points. Toby Keith is a big man -- he used to be an oil driller before his songs started selling. And whether we want to admit it out loud or not, every team needs a "boot in the butt" man. Every person on a team secretly wants to be the "boot in the butt" guy but typically they are the "here's a pen" guy. Toby is like the dog on the chain that everyone worries might snap a link or two if things get rowdy, so he tends to keep things at a simmer instead of a boil. Toby got into a disagreement with mega giant Sony and just packed up his Ford trucks, bandanas, and busted Dixie Chicks CDs and started his own record label. This is the kind of guy that might just take a state or two and start his own country -- which is why the counterbalance triangle is required.
It's the classic formula -- the brains, the civility, and the muscle -- so you have to admit, this would be an awesome triple-threat, teeter-totter for advice, guidance, and "keeping it real."
As this is my modest proposal, I'm sure there will be numerous objections to my selections, but just as Jonathan Swift theorized at one point, the debate will focus on the details and not in the concept. I don't think anyone will argue that we can't use some new think-tanks. They'll just argue about who it should be.The problem will be that someone will propose their Uncle Moe, an Al Sharpton, or Kevin Bacon and the waters will be muddied.
Well, that's mostly how we got in theses messes in the first place.
-Mombo
posted by IDC Staff @ 7:00 PM
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